Psychedelic Safety - the Podcast

Therapeutic relationships with psychedelics have been a special interest of mine since I was a study participant in one of the early psilocybin “states of consciousness” research studies at Johns Hopkins University in the early 2000’s. Over what ended up being a year long process, I received varying doses of psilocybin in each of the day long sessions. But, more on that later. For now, I am writing to share about the importance of safety in psychedelics, because the concept of “set and setting” and who you trust with your body, mind and pscyhe is critical. In fact, it could be a matter of life or death.

In 2019, a close friend, Jen Rothman, and I were preparing to begin a “professional” psychedelic facilitator training in California with Francois Bourzat and her team. Jen was a Somatic Experiencing practitioner and therapist. And, I am an herbalist, nutritionist and coach trained in somatics and mindfulness. Jen and I both had deep respect for entheogens and the healing work we experienced personally and witnessed professionally with our clients. Jen was drawn to high dose journeys whereas I was slowly coming to understand that sensitive nervous systems like mine often experienced dysregulation and depletion after journeys and tended to thrive on more stabilizing and gentle micro and mini doses.

Jen regularly attended group “ceremonies” with Jorge Ferrer, a then psychology professor at the California Institute for Integral Studies (CIIS). I attended one of his ceremonies a few years prior and quickly concluded that it was not a safe container for me to do healing work. Jen had a different experience, and continued down that path. She was someone with incredible capacity and in Jorge’s group she found community and healing.

In fact, I wish I could give you, dear reader, a clearer picture of the unique and beautiful being that Jen was, but my words will never be enough. She was extremely intelligent, warm, witty, and loving, with a wicked sense of humor. She parented her son with a fierce and dedicated love that I have never seen before. And, her embodied presence — the name of her clinical practice — was just that. Jen was a deep commitment to presence, capacity and healing. I have heard from several of her clients since she passed and they all say the same about her incredible capacity to sit with whatever they brought into her office. She was truly gifted in many ways.

Sadly, she was also introduced to a very dangerous substance by Jorge and on November 1st in the early morning after Halloween, Jen was pronounced dead. Seeking answers, Jen’s family, friends and I reached out to people who were with her that night — Jorge and participants of his “medicine circles”. No one was willing to share information. Not one of them. In fact, many went to great lengths to hide the truth. Jorge even publicly shared a letter in which he stated that Jen had not taken any drugs and that his sense is that “her passing must be related to the condition called Lyme carditis.”

It is true that Jen had battled Lyme disease, but it was also true that she had been taking this new substance from Jorge. I knew this because she told me both verbally and in writing. So, I spent hundreds of hours researching and analyzing information from various sources to uncover what happened to my beloved friend. Eventually, the truth was uncovered and the coroner concluded that a substance called 5-APB was the cause of Jen’s death. And it was completely avoidable if you understand the pharmacology of how this substance acts on the body and what signs and symptoms to watch for.

The details of this story are deeply disturbing and it has taken me 5 years to come to a place within myself to be able to write about what happened to my friend. It is deeply personal and being interviewed and sharing what I did has not been easy, to say the least. Sometimes a detail or memory of what happened to my beautiful friend will jump out of a dark corner of my mind and haunt me for a moment — a photo or text on my phone or a flash in my mind can easily stop me in my tracks. I have also received disturbing messages from those who remain in denial about what happened to Jen. But, most of all I am grateful that I found the strength to confront the dark truth and to receive the love, support and encouragement of many good and honest people who cared enough to speak up and check the facts. Those people kept me focused and feeling held.

I, and those who loved Jen, are deeply grateful to New York Magazine and Psymposia and their team of journalists, lawyers and fact checkers who made it possible to share this important story in the podcast “Power Trip”. I share this with you now with the intention of safety first. People who are seeking care with psychedelics are typically vulnerable and it is of the utmost importance that we, in the very least, learn from these tragic stories and do what we can to keep folks safe.

So, if you are interested in learning about the disturbing secrets and dark corners of “professionals” in the psychedelic realm, I invite you to listen to this podcast “Power Trip, Season 1” when you are feeling grounded and resourced enough to do so. I share this with great love and a trigger warning. Please, take care of yourselves and each other and be safe out there.